The Purposeful Leader

Inspiration, belief, and implementable techniques
for transforming your purpose, productivity + leadership capacity.

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Create Your Confidence

Leadership, Motivation, Values

I am amazing. I am super smart, so funny, so competent. I put so much love into the world. Every single day I help at least one other person think of themselves as more capable, more complete, more incredible. I do the work. I show up for myself. I have so much to offer.

I choose these thoughts about me. And a bunch of others. They generate security in who I am, in what I do, in who I want to be. And they clear away all the noise.

And here’s the objection I get when I ask others to choose amazing thoughts about themselves: “Thinking that way would be so egotistical, so arrogant. I’ll become a terrible person if I think that way all the time.”

Arrogance is comparative. It is scarce. For everything it includes, it excludes something else.

Confidence, on the other hand, is fully inclusive. It is abundant. It allows for our greatness and the greatness of everyone else.

Arrogance believes that if I’m amazing other people are less amazing.

Confidence believes that I’m amazing. And so are you. That it’s not a competition. That there’s room for everyone’s greatness because there’s not a finite amount of greatness. (There is not a finite amount of greatness, just so we’re clear.)

If you find yourself resisting the idea of believing wonderful thoughts about yourself, ask yourself if you really think that believing them will suddenly turn you into a person who serves only you, and does so at the expense of others.

Or, might believing that you are uniquely incredible help you see that same thing in everyone around you?

And help you show up as the best version of you?

For the last three weeks we’ve been talking about confidence. If we want to learn to generate confidence, we have to think about what we want to believe about ourselves, and explore and question any objections our brain presents.

You get to choose if you walk through your life believing wonderful things about yourself.

And here’s a quick recap of the other tools you have at your disposal:

Your value is absolute. Your doubt is human.

Your worth isn’t something you have to hustle for. It doesn’t increase when things are going well and decrease when they aren’t. It doesn’t change when you do a lot, it doesn’t change when you do nothing. It’s always there. If you knew that, what would you choose to think about yourself? And when you do doubt yourself, it’s all good. The rest of us are with you. Even that person you’re thinking has it all figured out.

Who you are vs. what is in front of you.

Our brains very often tell us that our confidence needs to come from the particulars of the situation we’re facing. But who we are, our character, determines much more about how successful we are. So when our brain goes to the situation, we can switch the mode — remembering that our confidence ultimately comes from a deeper place, a knowledge of who we are, not what’s in front of us.

Aware | Accept | Allow | Choose | (Repeat)

This cycle is everything. What are you thinking? Those thoughts are amoral, sentences in your mind. Look at them and allow the emotions they cause. Get curious. Then decide if they’re serving you, and whether you want to choose to shift your perspective. Repeat, repeat, repeat. I tell clients that if they do this every day for a month, their lives will change. You can decide if you’re up for that challenge.

One more thought before I go, about “Truth” vs. Usefulness. We all, every single one of us, falls victim to believing our thoughts, sometimes seeing them as truth, rather than for what they are: optional interpretations of reality. And so when we examine certain thoughts, it can feel like there’s just no other option. It’s just true that “we have never pitched a client this big.” But the question here is not about “truth.” It’s about usefulness. Is thinking that way useful to you? How does that thought — stop and think it, and pay attention — feel? What action do you take from that feeling? And what’s the result?

If it’s useful to you, amazing. If it drives you to show up believing your value and being in service to your client, boom. Keep it.

But if it doesn’t, ignore your sense of “truth” for a moment, and explore what might be more useful. Because choosing something that works, that’s useful, is ultimately what you want.

This will take us to a new level.

This is an amazing opportunity.

This is just like every other presentation. And presentations are our thing.

We have exactly what they’re looking for.

Our offer is so good.

Our perspective is neutral, amoral like our thoughts. But if we can choose to look at things — or at ourselves — in a way that brings us what we want, why not do it? It’s so much more fun.

My day used to happen to me. I thought it was just the way it was — hectic management of incoming request, team needs, personal priorities. And I was good at it — good at responding, juggling, managing. Then I learned how to be in charge of my time, my priorities, my accomplishments. And not only did my day change, my life changed. Book a free consultation call with me and let’s explore working together. You’ll walk away with a plan for getting to where you want to be.