I recently wrote a letter to new clients, an introduction to the materials I share when we begin working together. It paints the beginning of the picture of coaching, something I get a lot of questions about. Enjoy!
Hello and welcome.
I’m so excited to do this work with you.
A lot of what we’re taught about our mental and emotional experience isn’t true. And when we internalize and apply these inaccuracies to our lives, we struggle because we don’t have full access to our potential, power, and influence.
For example, we’re taught from a very young age that other people can hurt our feelings and that we can hurt the feelings of others. But if this were true, all of us would have the exact same emotional reaction in identical circumstances.
Suzy called me a smarty-pants, I am now enraged.
And we know that not everyone would have this same experience. Some people would find it hilarious. Some people would just own it (Yes, I am a smarty-pants thank you very much). And some people would be enraged.
Our emotional experience comes from the way that we think, what we make the circumstances around us mean, how much we attach to or believe other people’s opinions and thoughts.
Much of the way we think is just patterning, neurons we’ve taught to get good at specific thoughts through practicing them over and over again.
While the schoolyard example may seem trivial, think about the way this plays out in adulthood, in leadership, in family life. If we believe other people can cause our feelings, we have to control other people to feel the way we want to. We have to control our spouses, colleagues, teams, friends, and family in order to have access to the positive feelings we want.
We go through life believing we need other people to do and say certain things for us to feel good, and show up in our relationships with needs and expectations from others and from our circumstances—we need our job to make us happy, our spouse to make us feel loved, our boss to make us feel validated.
When we learn that we are the only ones who have power over our emotions, and take full responsibility, we step into our lives in a whole new way.
- We focus on our relationship to ourselves, rather than on what other people think about us or think we should do.
- We judge our success by internal standards rather than external ones.
- We prioritize ourselves and serve others better for it.
- We let other people be who they are, without the need to control or manipulate them so we can feel different.
- We make strong decisions from a clear emotional place.
This program is designed to help you feel the way you want, take the actions you want to take, go after and achieve your goals. It’s designed to improve the relationships you want to improve and even the ones you feel great about. The path is through your brain, through thinking in new ways and questioning the ways we’re taught to think.
Coaching is questioning. And the more open you are to questioning, considering new ideas, asking if alternative ways of thinking might be true, the more you will get out of this work. In fact, often when we start to bump up against ideas or find things that trigger us, we’ve found our greatest teachers—the concepts or people that are our work, our direct path to exactly what we want.
Let’s get started.
Are you ready to get started? Do you have an inkling that this work is important for your life and instrumental in getting what you want? Have you thought about taking the next step? Do it. Schedule a consultation call. Today. Because if your inkling is right, every minute you don’t schedule is one more minute delaying your results.